wow a new prime minister
and yay England made it through
good last effort soccoroos

As our accountant pointed out to me this is a once in a lifetime day
It is the only day every century that it is Beverly Hills 90210 day

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloo.dy Nuisance." The last time the English issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.



The Scots raised their threat level from "Pis.sed Off" to "Let's get the Bas.tards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.



The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."



The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Blitzkrieg".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are as usual carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

And in the southern hemisphere...

New Zealand has also raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA!". Due to continuing defence cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper airplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be all right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!', "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULES!

HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE!!!!

So after months of remembering not to leave the car in the clearway zone outside my house after the weekend I woke today to discover that it had been towed, Made the start of my day a bit grumpy but decided to get over the $250 fine and the $150 towing costs as I will just put it on my existing time to pay order However my boss has just reopened the wound for me and really hit the seriousness home to me with his cauculation that my little mishap has cost me 100 schooners . Dam it so much worse in those terms!!!!

WE WON THE ASHES

WOOO WOOO WOOO WOOO WOOO WOOO

RUNS ROUND THE OFFICE

YYAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From: Alex Kaufman <akaufman@malyonlaw.com>
Date: 2009/6/30
Subject: Your ENS Permanent Visa Application
To: coralielester@gmail.com
Cc: Katie Malyon <kmalyon@malyonlaw.com>



Hi Coralie

It was a pleasure speaking with you on the phone today in relation to your proposed permanent visa application under the Employer Nomination Scheme (ENS).

As discussed, we will send you an Engagement Letter on Thursday which contains important information about the Terms upon which we act on your behalf in relation to the 2 stage (Nomination and Visa) applications.

In the meantime, since, we will be required to collaborate with Pegasus in the initial (Nomination) stage, I would be grateful if you could advise who our principal contact will be.

I look forward to speaking with you again soon.
Kind regards



Alex Kaufman
Senior Associate
Registered Migration Agent Number 0601370

Katie Malyon & Associates, Lawyers
Level 18 Australia Square | 264 George Street | Sydney NSW 2000
T +61 2 8247 8224 | F +61 2 8247 8200 | www.malyonlaw.com

P Please consider the environment before printing this e-mail

IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN.



Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?


If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Sauvignon Blanc


Sauvignon Blanc is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.



It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.


You will notice the benefits of Sauvignon almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.



Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.

Stop hiding and start living.

Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming
pregnant are encouraged to try it.


Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister!


WARNINGS: -


* The consumption of Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.


* The consumption of Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.


* The consumption of Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.


* The consumption of Sauvignon may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

* The consumption of Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.


Please feel free to share this important information with as many women as you feel may benefit!

wow

they are going to hire another me

most coordinators at their peak are meant to roster 1500 hours

and this week I rostered 2043

it was scary overhearing the managers talking about their criterea

they want someone 'corperate' and a load of other things

funny really because if i was applying for the job now i dont think i would ever pass the interviews that they are going to set up for this position

hope they hire someone who is good and doesnt bollock up the roster like others in the past have done,

COULD EVERYONE WHO HAS READ/RESPONDED TO SHARNS LAST LJ PLEASE READ THE UPDATE I HAVE ADDED ON THE BOTTOM, IT APPEARS THAT IT IS A JOKE THAT HAS GONE A BIT WRONG